I need to write two papers in two days.

Well, actually, it's 5:00pm now, and I work at 4:45pm tomorrow, so technically I need to write two papers in less than 24 hours plus late-late into the night Wednesday maybe.

OK, so...Dante.

I'm stuck.

I literally have nothing interesting, groundbreaking, or vaguely thesis-like to say about Dante. All the symbols and allegories are already right there in the footnotes. What am I supposed to say?

All I've got so far is...something about the process of redemption as reflected in the plant life and/or rivers of Inferno, Purgatory, and Paradise.

That's kind of a crappy thesis.

It's DANTE!!! Dante has been meticulously picked apart and mulled over and written about for like SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS.

T_T

OK. redemption...plants...rivers. I should get to work.

[I have discovered that one of the peculiarities of a Christian college is that innuendo and crudeness---which might excite a vague chuckle in a secular classroom---become about a million times funnier. Partly because it's funny, but mostly because it's so random and unexpected.]

We are now on Capitulo 15...the chapter about marriages and weddings. Why a Spanish textbook would have an entire chapter devoted to marriages and weddings, I have no idea. La profesora instructs the class,

"Describan su esposo o esposa ideal."

I cringe. As if marriage wasn't talked about at Wheaton enough already.

I attempt to be funny. "Tiene mucho dinero!"
Another girl attempts to be funny in a different way. "Se llama Ernesto!"
Others decide that sus esposos ideales son guapos, son comicos, les gustan hijos, quieren un perro, y aman Jesu Cristo.

We are then at a loss, as our list seems insufficient for la profesora's intended use for it---teaching us the difference between subjunctive and indicative when talking about hypothetical vs. real people.

"Remember, this is su esposo o esposa ideal," she says. "En realidad, no hay una persona perfecta...but what would an ideal spouse be like?"

there is a brief silence...

and then, the heroine of our classroom, a senior girl proficient in French (taking this class simply to give her enough hours to graduate) blurts out,

"bien en la cama!"

The class absolutely dies laughing and doesn't recover for a good five minutes. La profesora is not amused.

Our classmate was, however, taking the esposo ideal stipulation seriously. I agree with her.

Mi esposo ideal sea bien en la cama tambien.

See? I even used the subjunctive, because I am talking about someone who doesn't necessarily exist.

Spanish is fun.

Geneva Community High School is a good school.

I am wise, however, to the little game that Wheaton's "methods practicum" arrangement (30+ minute commute to school every single morning at 7:00am, 30+ minute commute back at 10:30, THEN regular college classes, THEN life?/work/homework) is trying to play. I figure Wheaton wants us to be SO desperately desirous of a school day that is over before 3:00pm that we won't feel even the least bit nervous or apprehensive about student teaching.

Well, they've got me. I feel like I am leading a triple life...being at Geneva, where the teachers do Geneva, and that's it. Being at Wheaton, where most students do Wheaton, and that's it. Trying to earn money so I can have a little fun on the side (when?)...it's exhausting.

The next two and a half days are going to be...exhausting.

Student teaching? Bring it.

Grading? Oh boo hoo, at least I won't be up all night feeling mentally paralyzed and unable to write my theology paper.

I would very much like a vacation...and am in the process of plotting (heh heh heh) for this summer. Some days that's the only thing that really puts a smile on my face. The entire world may be coupling off, but at least I am still me. And being me, almost by definition, involves a startling ability to pull off some pretty crazy crap in terms of vacations. ;)

I've also developed a somewhat obsessive tendency to order cute blazers off ebay. Ebay has an infinitely better selection of affordable, hip, uber-petite blazers than the mall has. Blazers help me feel authoritative for some reason.

...from the Wheaton College Education Department.

In order to help us "own" our classroom as future teachers, Dr. Loomis (who technically prefers to be thought of as our sherpa) offered commentary as we all walked around "owning" the classroom for ten minutes---while the theme from Shaft followed by an Earth Wind & Fire song played.

"WORK IT!!! Be SEXY!!! You are entering a SEXY profession!!!"

"What are you afraid of, some kind of NO DANCING ALLOWED POLICY???" (hahahaha)

Dr. Loomis later told us about how in Greek and Persian traditions, philosophers would hold drinking parties. The young men would drink, "loosen up," lose their inhibitions, and do all the talking. The old men would stay sober, listen, and understand how they could better tutor the young men (typically restrained by said inhibitions). Supposedly C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, and the Inklings practiced their own form of inhibition-free brainstorming, but Dr. Loomis stopped short of describing that in detail.

Wheaton College does not endorse the aforementioned tradition.

It does endorse C.S. Lewis and sexy teachers.

"They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no...

The man said, 'Why do you think you here?'
I said I got no idea
I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby
So I always keep a bottle near

I don't ever wanna drink again
I just---I just need a friend...

And it's not just my pride,
It's just till these tears have dried...

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no..."



"All the single ladies, all the single ladies...

If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it...

uh-uh-oh, uh-uh-oh..."



"I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see...

You know that I could use somebody...

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat

I'm ready now..."



"Take back the city for yourself tonight, I'll take back the city for me...

Ten thousand craters where it all should be, woah woah...

It's a mess. It's a start. It's a flawed work of art..."